October 13, 2024
Mark 10:46-52
Introduction
When we read this story, I think a lot of us get locked into how this is about Jesus healing a man who has lost his physical sight. And while that is not wrong in any way—we often hear this story and think of blindness and seeing in their outward forms. But what about inward blindness and seeing? What if we went further with this story, and let it take us beyond only physical blindness and sight? Because I think this story holds more power, and more opportunities for growing our faith than just being about outward and physical blindness or seeing.
This story, of blind Bartimaeus, is a ubiquitous story every one of us experiences even if our vision is 20/20. It’s a story that helps all of us change how we see.
Move 1
Do you ever feel like you are in the dark? I don’t mean someone turned off the lights around you, but rather the light within you is no longer shining. I’m talking about those times when you feel lost, and you can’t see a way forward. You’re confused, and there’s no clarity. Maybe it’s a time when the answers and beliefs that once lit your way no longer illuminate the path you are on. You stumble and fumble your way through life, not sure of where you are going or how anything good could possibly come. Or maybe it’s the darkness of grief, loss, and sorrow have brought light blocking shadows into your life. Maybe shadows from your past are blocking the light— shadows of guilt, regret, failure, disappointment— and they mimic your every move and no matter how fast you run the shadow is still there.
I wonder if that’s what life was like for Bartimaeus.
Or if the darkness metaphor doesn’t work for you, how about this… Do you ever feel like you are sitting on the roadside of life? Do you ever feel like everyone except you have it figured out and is not only going somewhere, they are arriving at that somewhere? I’m talking about those times when it feels like life is passing us by and we aren’t getting anywhere. We feel stuck, more like a spectator of life than a participant. Maybe it’s about exhaustion or a lack of wholeheartedness. Maybe it’s despair, inertia, indifference. Maybe it feels like your life has been turned upside down. Maybe it feels like you don’t have any place to be and no one to miss you if you’re not there. Maybe you’ve been sidelined by loneliness, being the outsider, or offering a voice others don’t want to hear. I wonder if that’s what it was like for Bartimaeus.
But maybe you’re not feeling like life is passing you by. But do you ever feel like you are begging for your life? I’m talking about those times when you feel depleted, the well has run dry, your cup is empty, and you have nothing left in you. It’s those times when life overwhelms us and we wonder how or if we’ll get by. These are desperate times, and our prayers become that of begging and pleading to just get through another day. It’s not just that we don’t have enough, we start wondering if we are enough. I wonder if that’s what it was like for Bartimaeus.
I remember times like that in my life and I’ll bet you do too.
Move 2
After college I decided to take a year off before going onto seminary, but that plan quickly went awry. At the start of the third summer— three years after graduating college— I was still no closer to going to seminary. I had this call from God, but I was lost, stuck, sitting in my darkness. I was stumbling, desperate for a clear path forward.
I remember sitting in my darkness, begging, lost in the shadows when my father’s illness had become insurmountable. I remember sitting in my darkness, begging, lost in the shadows after each of countless phone calls with a best friend who was battling life robbing infections, necessitating two different surgeries to amputate his leg. I remember sitting in my darkness, begging, lost in the shadows when his wife called and told me my friend had died.
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When have you sat in darkness and shadows? When has blindness been your experience of life? When have you been stuck along the road of life, unable to get anywhere? When have begging and pleading been the only prayer you had? When have you been Bartimaeus? What happened? And what have you done with that experience? Or better yet, what has that experience done with you?
As much as I disliked and wanted to avoid those times of sitting in my darkness, stumbling, and begging, each would change my life in ways I could not foresee at the time. They changed how I see God, the world, myself, and others. I don’t think for a second that God caused these events to happen, or that any of them “happened for a reason”, but yet I do think each have impacted, and even contributed in a meaningful way, my spiritual journey.
In times like these we become blind inwardly, unable to see how they are changing us, making us stronger, more resilient, more aware of our need for Jesus. Times like these are ways in which we come into ourselves more deeply. Times like these are a gateway to draw even closer to the divine. Again, I am not suggesting God intends or causes these times. I don’t believe that. But I do believe God does not waste these times, that God wastes nothing of our lives—not our blindness, not our roadside sitting, and not our begging. God is always are work. And God’s work, no matter any amount of darkness, is always good.
Move 3
Jesus asks Bartimaeus, “What do you want me to do for you?” And Bartimaeus says, “My teacher, let me see again.”
There is an immensely important word to pick up in his answer? Bartimaeus wants to see “again.” Meaning, at some point in his life he could see. And because he could see at some point before, we can break Bartimaeus’ life in three stages. First stage, Bartimaeus can see. Second, he is blind, sitting on the roadside, and begging. Third, his sight is restored by Jesus. He did not, however, regain the sight he originally had. It was a different way of seeing. Here’s why I say this…
Sometimes words challenge us to see more than we think is there. The same word can have more than one meaning, and so it is with today’s Gospel. We’re told Bartimaeus wanted “to see again” and that “he regained his sight”, getting back what he once had.
And that would be one way of reading this text. But those same words in the original Greek can also mean Bartimaeus wanted “to look up” and that “he looked upwards.” And that’s another way of seeing this text.
“Seeing again” and “looking upwards”. So what if both kind of “seeings” are necessary? What if Bartimaeus sees again… but in a new way? He now looks upward. He has a higher vision and a greater consciousness. Isn’t that the pattern of spiritual growth we see in the scriptures?
Theologian Richard Rohr describes it as “order, disorder, and reorder.” And every one of us has lived that pattern—the very pattern that happened to Bartimaeus. Isn’t that what happened to the Israelites? They went from Egypt to the wilderness, to the promised land. Isn’t that what happened to David? A hero after killing Goliath, exiled and hunted by King Saul, then eventually crowned King. Isn’t this Jonah’s story? The Apostle Paul’s story? Each of these stories is a pattern… a pattern of life, death, and resurrection.
Move 4
The thing about sitting in our darkness and begging is that at the time we can never see what is coming to us. Blind Bartimaeus could not see what or who was coming that day he sat on the roadside begging. The most he could do was to be faithful to his darkness, listen, sense, not run away, and cry out in hope. And that’s true for you and me.
We sit in our darkness begging and then one day something begins to come into focus—a pattern emerges and everything starts to look different and feel different. We catch a glimpse of a new life. We gain some insight about ourselves. We begin to see our surroundings and situations in a new light.
No, none of this is easy. It’s really hard actually. Which is why we must go deeper into Bartimaeus’ story and understand this isn’t just about regaining his sight. His story shows us what will come when we remain faithful even if we can’t see. His story shows us that if we don’t give up and run away, but instead stay and cry out in hope, we will be healed, and through our faith Christ will make us well.
Conclusion
As you can see, I eventually emerged from my darkness and went to seminary. And more than twenty-one years later, here I am. After the deaths of my father, my friend, and just several months ago my mother, each time I was sitting in darkness, lost, and begging. I never saw the day coming when I would realize my grief led me to a deeper love, a deeper awareness of the blessings each gave to me. But that day came, and I now see so much to still be grateful for. I see opportunities, and beauty I didn’t see before. Everything looks different. Yes, it has taken time, and yes, a lot of hurt still remains, but I am able to look up and see the world around me differently. That’s what sitting in darkness, being lost, and begging has done for me. It continues to open my eyes. It continues to show me new paths. It continues to help me see the world around me in a new light.
And because this has happened, it’s led me to ask… What if changing our lives and our world begins with changing how we see? What if it begins with crying out with hope and confidence that Jesus can heal us? What if it begins by ignoring the voices that tell us to stop? Is that how we change our lives and our world? Bartimaeus would say it is. Amen.
Pastoral Prayer, October 13, 2024
Almighty God, our great Physician, through Jesus you heard the call of blind Bartimaeus and did for him what he had asked, then sending him on his way; healed, redeemed and ready to follow Jesus.
Holy God, we too are on the dusty road of life as blind beggars; seeking your healing touch, for we know we are blind to so much. We are blind to the needs of those who have been judged to be unworthy of your love and acceptance. We are blind to those who hold and abuse power and authority to make themselves richer and more powerful. We are blind to the wrongness of those who tell us to be quite when we raise our voices and call out for mercy, justice, and healing.
So just as you, through Jesus, opened the eyes, heart, and faith of Bartimaeus, may our eyes be opened to the love and mercy and new life available through your healing love.
May our eyes be opened to lives that are fleeting in this world, and yet still held secure in your loving arms.
May our eyes be opened to the plight of our neighbors, which then moves us to act in any way we can to bring hope for better days.
May you open our eyes to see the beauty of your creation and be reminded we have a responsibility to care for it.
May you open our eyes Lord and heal us of our spiritual blindness so we are made ready to boldly live out the Good News of Jesus—making the way of Jesus, our way of life.
And Lord God, we continue to pray for all those who have been impacted by the devastating storms of the past weeks. May your presence and hope come through all who are working to restore and put back together the unimaginable brokenness that has occurred. And most especially, may your presence be felt by all who are lost and broken, giving them your peace that passes all understanding, and giving them the assurance that you are at work, and your work is always for good.
Hear now, we ask, the prayers we lift to you in this time of Holy Silence.
All this we pray in the name of Christ Jesus our Savior, who taught us to pray, saying, “Our…”